Life moves pretty fast

My lovely sister very kindly invited me to join her family for a few days at Center Parcs in Longleat Forest, Wiltshire and so last week I jumped in the car and headed off to the south-west of England.

This was not my first visit to a Center Parcs so I knew what to expect, (although the Longleat one is a lot hillier than the Elveden one!), but if you have never been to a Center Parcs, allow me to explain the concept.

Essentially, the first step is to take the design of an ideal home as created by a 5-10 year old in an exercise at primary school. I remember this sort of task from my childhood, and like many, I included swimming pools & slides, sports pitches and equipment of multiple types, rooms for my favourite hobbies, my eateries of choice and a multitude of fantastical additional extras.

Of course, Center Parcs have taken away some of the more “creative” options, there isn’t a rocket launch pad or secret tunnel to Castle Grayskull for example, but generally they have grabbed these childhood dreams, placed them in a few hundred acres of prime woodland, built lots of chalets and then provided the opportunity for you to jump on a bike and go and play. As a result, much fun can be had, and the calories burned during these activities are only equalled by the calories consumed because you are “on holiday”!

Now if you are something of a people watcher, as I think I have to class myself, this is an excellent location to observe the comings and goings of people of all ages as they negotiate their way through all these facilities and the logistics that go with them. I took the following away from this visit:

Firstly, (and this will be no news to them), parents of 2 to 5 year olds really should be used for all major negotiations in human politics and diplomacy! Their ability to think of creative solutions, compromises and workarounds is second to none. When talking about these skills of rhetoric, tact, and subtlety, many may think of the great forums of ancient Athens or Rome, or perhaps the floor of the United Nations or a boardroom in a modern office skyscraper, but these locations have nothing on the dynamic requirements of dealing with the overstimulated and/or tired mind of a young child.

Some conversations that I heard snippets of whilst being out and about the site included, “Can I have a shower if you are allowed to watch Spider-Man?”, “So can I check – if we return the life-vest to the shop and get a blue one, then you’ll wear it?”, and the wonderful back and forth in one of the hot tub type areas; Parent – “Close your eyes, enjoy the bubbles and relax”. Child starting to cry – “But I don’t want to close my eyes!” Parent – “Well – then – don’t!”. Can I also congratulate the parent who said with a profound tiredness, “try not to push the smaller children into the goldfish pond”. A lesson for life if ever there was one.

As someone who has never been blessed with being a parent, my heartfelt admiration and sincere respect never diminishes for every one of these folks working so hard to make their way through these incredibly challenging but wonderfully entertaining early years. To them all, keep going – you’re doing really well!

Secondly, and directly linked in many ways, I would like to patent the term “resting swimming pool face”. This is the face that exists on many adults when confronted by a busy, outside fun-pool. There it is, crowded with people of all ages trying to capture first swims or to discourage children from “bombing” on other swimmer’s heads. Families and groups negotiate their way through the crowds to the top of a flume or to reach a hot tub. They don’t do this in the co-ordinated movement of a flamboyance of flamingos in a salted lake but rather in the chaos of a “last shopping Saturday before Christmas” type way.

In addition, obviously everyone is also wearing a lot less than perhaps is normal, revealing a miasma of curious body hair, tattoos and those ripples we all wish we didn’t have, in what is effectively a large bowl of human soup. Having found what seems to be a quiet corner, which if they have been very lucky includes some sort of vent making bubbles to aid the tense back, the adult’s face then adopts an expression that can only be described as part overwhelm, part panic, part relaxation and a good helping of “what on earth…?”! I recommend looking for it next time you find yourself in this situation. It is surprisingly common.

Finally, it will come as no surprise based upon the above, Center Parcs are also kind enough to provide the adult only spa experience of Aqua Sana in response to all these shenanigans. The warm, white robe and towel provided as you enter the building by someone with a soothing voice is an immediate welcoming contrast. From that moment you begin an exploration of aromas, mists, rains, temperatures, salts, lavas and crystals in a series of experiences where the floor is warm, the cucumber water cool and the selection of worldwide, plinky-plonky, relaxing music, unsurpassed. A particular favourite of mine was the artificial cave with its greenery, soft humidity and contrasting view of the real sky that was full of chilled January rain. Ultimately though, the main purpose of a spa, no matter how good for the pores and muscles, is to find somewhere warm for a really good nap! Many, including myself, took advantage of this opportunity!

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Following our week away and as we were nearby, I headed into Salisbury for a whistlestop tour of the city before heading home. My Jen used to refer to these visits as one of “Trev’s yomps”! That is an on-foot exploration of a historical city lasting about a day and most likely involving a visit to the castle, cathedral, museum, city square and, if we are lucky, the town hall. I do like a town hall! Jen and I covered many a city in the UK and beyond this way and have seen some truly stunning historical places and beautiful architecture. I have continued this in the past year or so and my intention is to cover as many of the major cities and towns of Great Britain as possible. (See my Instagram for updates!)

Salisbury and Old Sarum did not disappoint – really fascinating. Of course, the city is heavily linked with the archaeology of Stonehenge which is just up the road, seeing the remains of the Amesbury Archer was really interesting and the connections to William the Conqueror at Old Sarum fort were engaging.

The highlight though was Salisbury Cathedral and in particular viewing the copy, (only 1 of 4 remaining), of the Magna Carta of 1215 in the Chapter House. I have seen the copy in Lincoln Castle as well and it is a humbling experience to stand before a document that is over 800 years old, older than the building in which it stands, and that still influences the common law of the land to this day. The most famous clause that in effect has not been superseded to this day, is that to the right to not be imprisoned without a lawful trial by a person’s peers.

However, what made this experience particularly enjoyable was the tour guide from the cathedral who was kind enough to give me a small history talk about the document but also her favourite parts of the Chapter House. This lady, and I’m afraid I don’t know her name, was elderly, moved with a walker and clearly not in the best health but had come out in the rain of the day to talk to visitors with a knowledge, verve and passion that was so engaging. We talked of Stonemason’s jokes in cathedrals, our dislike of what the puritans did to religious iconography in the 17^th century, the casualness of the Victorians in their restorations and the origin of the word “penknife” in our 10 or so minutes together. We both agreed it was a very pleasant conversation! (A penknife was used for making quills from the feathers taken from female swans or “pens” by the way).

I often use the hashtag #HaveAnAdventure with my travel pictures and this week was a certainly one. And as is often the case on all the best adventures, the highlights were the people you got to spend time and interact with.